The Shamockery of our Bedtime Routine

You are absolutely right... 

It has been way too long without a blog post about Casey. After all, he delivers one third of the Kid•Dog•Travel name, and with unmatched puppy cuteness.

Before choosing a Rhodesian Ridgeback, we were well aware of their reputation as a strong-willed breed. Some would even say stubborn. Casey was no exception. He has persistence in spades.

This is challenging as his owner and requires constant management. For example, he is happy to sit and whine for quite some time when he wants something. It’s like negotiating with terrorists – don't ever give in! If we do, he will know that his persistence will prevail.

Which brings us to our bedtime routine.

When I say “our” I mean not just Jane and me - but Casey, too. Because Little Mister Persistence, of course, sleeps in our bed. Yes, all 100 pounds and often what seems like fifteen square feet of him. Call our routine what you will - Bedtime Ballet, Kansas City Shuffle, and Slumberooski all come to mind.

Regardless of title, it is a shamockery that I can only relate with a tinge of embarrassment.

Casey tends to start his bedtime routine an hour or so before we do. He basically claims his spot in the middle of our bed (did I mention it is a full-sized, i.e. not queen-sized, bed) and takes his pre-bedtime nap. When we come to bed, there is simply no room for us in the bed.

So it's time for Casey, in accordance with his status as a pet, to be kicked out of our bed for the night. After practically physically lifting the reluctant beast out of the bed, I lead him out to the living room. He slowly climbs into his favorite comfy armchair after a nudge or too.

After bedding down in the lush cushion, I wrap him in a nice warm blanket (after all, it is winter in Bariloche). I give him a kiss goodnight with an aspirational “see you in the morning puppykins¨.

I head off to bed. Maybe watch some Netflix or, more likely, read for a while. Either way, in about an hour, we are settled in for sleep. And after giving Jane her kiss goodnight, all is quiet in our bedroom as we nod off to sleep.

But not everyone in the house is sleeping - Nooooo! The ever watchful hound has been on guard awaiting his opportunity.

After a precise span of time to allow for the humans to be defenseless in their slumber, it is time for action. With the stealth of a Navy SEAL infiltrating a beach head, the aforementioned beast, who has patiently reconnoitered his target for hours, commences his assault on his innocent victims. Under the cover of complete darkness, he maneuvers to a precise angle of approach and climbs with ninja-like quiet into position in the center of the bed.

His victims are completely unaware of his presence until the moment of attack.

After a couple more hours of allowing his quote unquote master to dream oblivious of any danger, his attack is swift and painful. His two clawed forelegs are thrust into the unsuspecting flesh of his victim’s mid-back. The helpless innocent who just recently tucked the beast in with a loving kiss is shocked to wakefulness from this nightmarish attack. It takes some time until order is restored in the bed and a geographic detente is attained for the rest of the night.

Sadly, with Ground-Hog-Day-like dysfunction, the next night will find me once again lovingly tucking Casey into his resting spot for the night, in the living room, in his chair.

“Good night, puppykins. See you in the morning.”